Jon's Campaign

Squeak Squawk: Home Sweet Home

Demons can SUCK IT

Demons suck. All they do is cause trouble, and then we have to go and slay them and it’s messy, but slay them we did. Or at least one. Seems that Jacob, leader of the slave rebellion, was a friggin demon! And he was the one controlling the winds so that we couldn’t leave that gods-forsaken place. But I get ahead of myself.

When we came out of the mines, there was chaos. the slaves had begun their rebellion, which I was clearly in favor of. After convincing my team that I was correct in this view, I led them up to the castle to confront Lord Thomas. Because we thought he was the demon. But no such luck – Luther or someone managed to read his aura, which was nasty as a goblin’s backside, but not demonic.

While we were out walking and deciding what to do, we ran into our old friend, the jailor. He was not happy to see me, which is totally not my fault! If he didn’t want people to break in and out of his jail, he should work harder on getting better locks. His were so bad that he was almost inviting them to be picked. In fact, I did a public service by proving how easy it was! he should have been thanking me! But instead, he tried to kill me. But one too many nights drinking grog (or whatever swill they have in this gods-forsaken place) caught up with him, as my team managed to kill him and his cronies. Brieza decided to take the keys from the jailor. Knowing that they would be better off in my capable hands (and knowing that she probably meant to give them to me but forgot), I just took them from her as we walked. For the good of us all.

Anyway, back to the fun. While Lord Thomas was not a demon, he was an awful human being, so we decided that the world would be better off without him and his ilk. So we went straight to his pathetic throneroom and went to town on him. I slyly locked the door before we started fighting (because at least ONE member of this rag-tag group should think ahead) which prevented Lord Thomas from escaping. The fight was pathetic. But I did manage to swipe a few ornate goblets from the room before we left – payment for the trouble of not dying easier. We also freed his brother from prison, and his brother was not a bad guy. In fact, he helped us slay the demon.

At the bottom of the hill, we encountered Jacob. Lord Thomas’s brother helped us fight him, and we slayed his demon ass. Once he died, the storms lifted. Before we left, we made sure that there would be no more slavery, because slavery sucks harder than demons. Well, maybe not harder, but at least as hard.

Then we could finally set sail homeward. Lord Thomas’s brother bid us farewell with gifts. I received a Wand of Greater Animal Aspect, which is not a bad little toy. But on the way home, the more I thought, the more I wanted to just sell it.

When we made our triumphant return, there must have been a miscommunication because there were no banners, no parades, and no free rounds of mead. Not classy at all. But we met with the King of Cameran, who was not overjoyed that we returned alone, but when we gave him our story, he was happy enough and bestowed us with gobs of gold.

Thorfinn threw a fit the next day because his druid pals were all up in arms about some political nonsense. But knowing that they would need my help and leadership, I swiftly volunteered to lead the mission to get him home safely. We spent a day shopping for gear, and I sold the wand and picked up a few odds and ends that might come in handy as we travel.

I also went and bought a riding dog, so travel in a little better style. Her name is Lilth-bel, which is Hafling for Midnight. Her coat is pitch black, with only the faintest white on her paws. She may not be the brightest dog, but she is insanely loyal to me. She only obeys commands in my native tongue, and she is even trained to fight! I rode her into battle against some ogres on the trip with Thorfinn and we saved the day (naturally). But I get ahead of myself.

We decided to stay one more night in town, so I went down to the poorer neighborhood and walked around a bit. I was generous with the reward we had received, and helped out several families who were in dire straights. I also passed out food, candy, and some coin to some of the children begging on the streets. If we had had more time, I would have done more, but duty called.

We made our way north with Thorfinn, our doggies becoming fast friends. We also picked up a few other folks who saw my leadership abilities and decided to travel with us. More on them in a later entry.

The journey north had its fair share of battles, but the ogres I discussed earlier were a highlight. And we killed a dragon, but a small one. I kept a tooth, because a dragon’s tooth is a dragon’s tooth, and it’s pretty cool.

Thorfinn bid us farewell, and we retired to The Black Sheep for some much-deserved drinks and a solid night sleep. Tomorrow, I am sure I will find another place to lead my companions.

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